Fred Frith

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Things we would love NOT to hear at the soundcheck:

(all quotes guaranteed genuine!):



* "If you were real musicians you wouldn't need all this shit"

* "Toxic Filth played last night - they're much better than you!"

* "I didn't drop it - look at my eyes - I am not a liar!"

* "Sure I read the rider, but we don't have that kind of equipment".

* "Well, we were still using your rider from three years ago..."

*" I don't know anything about it."

* "George (or whoever) is responsible and he's not here."

* "I only got the rider this afternoon" (or yesterday).

* "You'll have to talk to the promoter about that" (if it's a technician) and "You'll have to talk to the technician about that" (if it's a promoter).

* "We got you these Orange amps (or Mega-Zooms, or whatever) because actually they're much better amps than the ones you asked for."

* "You can't rehearse now because there's a dance performance upstairs until 20.00."

* "The buzzing noise? Oh, that's always been there!"

* "Nobody's ever complained about it before."

* "We can’t touch the microphones until the radio technicians arrive, which will be about half an hour before the show

* "I hope you don't mind moving everything but there's a 20-piece dance band playing first."

* "There'll be three of us making this video, only for our archives". (as we go on stage for the concert).

* "We'd like to do an interview but we won't be staying for the concert, so can we do it now, while the others are having dinner?"

* "But we cancelled your gig last month - didn't they tell you?"

* "I loved your work in King Crimson, man......."

* “My God, are you still going?”

Problems can be solved, but only if we know about them in advance! Please get in touch if you have any doubts!

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